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every so often [ha!], there will be a moment... something occuring which suddenly crystallises everything, and remembering that blogging is ostensibly a thing done by me, off sets grey!
this will be the third immediately consecutive entry, here alone, which refers to the fact that long form has... well, really never come naturally to me, inevitably failing... in land-speed record breaking time, even!
so insulting you with the chagrined and sheepish disclaimers of such is a cruelty we'll keep to a minimum, today.
however, in light of recent events, a certain measure of digital housekeeping in a bottle, is called for? most of which will have to wait for another dreamwidth perfect storm moment, 'cause tonight we've an agenda.
before, if you were to ask me what disability is, to me particularly? the answer you might hear would probably have varied, from one time to the next. it took vast, radical shifts in the paradigm, this demonic singularity sapping away at my will, first so slowly as to be untraceable, then abruptly at once, in chasm-like chunks. it took loss en masse from nearly every facet of my reality to provide cold, stark, and sobering clarity.
that is to say; my belief is that you would find me much altered.
so. stories told in the correct order, and such! even much diminished, allowing the moffat effect is still unacceptable, after all.
ongoing health crisis of DOOM aside, halfway through this last august, things went from 'walk and stand for brief lengths, with pain and consequence,' to 'stand up one day and do not stay that way.' just massive and sweeping loss of mobility overnight, from seemingly nowhere.
the timeline from that moment to needing to spend most active time in my wheelchair? took maybe, maybe, six weeks. [a secondhand and thus fairly broken wheelchair, the validity of my need for which had taken pen the previous six months to convince me of. 'bad enough' is not really a compatible concept with imposter syndrome. either variant.]
fast forwarding another six months has yielded a fascinating and perilous zero-sum; by the time communication is possible, my state of function has been compromised too drastically for actually communicating it.
it's really very difficult for 'well. that escalated quickly.' to be played straight, but we do seem to have managed.
have watched all of Inventing Anna twice, and must say, if a wild ride from beginning to end were made manifest...
ftp \ mirroring \ site upgrades \ service expansion \ artisan shop \ legal shutout \ doctors wholesale \ security sweep \ rope and pulley rigging \ purchasing at large \ ~ 83 phone calls -- just the last twelve hours of new tasks :\
huh... it's Zeno's todo list!
this will be the third immediately consecutive entry, here alone, which refers to the fact that long form has... well, really never come naturally to me, inevitably failing... in land-speed record breaking time, even!
so insulting you with the chagrined and sheepish disclaimers of such is a cruelty we'll keep to a minimum, today.
however, in light of recent events, a certain measure of digital housekeeping in a bottle, is called for? most of which will have to wait for another dreamwidth perfect storm moment, 'cause tonight we've an agenda.
before, if you were to ask me what disability is, to me particularly? the answer you might hear would probably have varied, from one time to the next. it took vast, radical shifts in the paradigm, this demonic singularity sapping away at my will, first so slowly as to be untraceable, then abruptly at once, in chasm-like chunks. it took loss en masse from nearly every facet of my reality to provide cold, stark, and sobering clarity.
the sort of vicious clarity one usually is confronted with only in the harsh day's light, The Morning After The Night Before, having presumably committed regrettable and/or disgraceful acts whose legality or lack thereof is questionable at best and likely includes inadvisable sex with persons unwise.
...or something. spontaneous shagging of any description hasn't exactly been amongst my fields of expertise, as you almost couldn't not know. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
it would require an entry whose length was worthy of Homer to account for even just every acute change? so, suffice to say, you would not consider me out of place within Austen's original Pride and Prejudice setting?that is to say; my belief is that you would find me much altered.
so. stories told in the correct order, and such! even much diminished, allowing the moffat effect is still unacceptable, after all.
ongoing health crisis of DOOM aside, halfway through this last august, things went from 'walk and stand for brief lengths, with pain and consequence,' to 'stand up one day and do not stay that way.' just massive and sweeping loss of mobility overnight, from seemingly nowhere.
the timeline from that moment to needing to spend most active time in my wheelchair? took maybe, maybe, six weeks. [a secondhand and thus fairly broken wheelchair, the validity of my need for which had taken pen the previous six months to convince me of. 'bad enough' is not really a compatible concept with imposter syndrome. either variant.]
fast forwarding another six months has yielded a fascinating and perilous zero-sum; by the time communication is possible, my state of function has been compromised too drastically for actually communicating it.
it's really very difficult for 'well. that escalated quickly.' to be played straight, but we do seem to have managed.
have watched all of Inventing Anna twice, and must say, if a wild ride from beginning to end were made manifest...
ftp \ mirroring \ site upgrades \ service expansion \ artisan shop \ legal shutout \ doctors wholesale \ security sweep \ rope and pulley rigging \ purchasing at large \ ~ 83 phone calls -- just the last twelve hours of new tasks :\
huh... it's Zeno's todo list!
